


sometimes i feel like i'm almost gone.

by kiddingway



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: 70s, Angst, Drug Use, F/F, Festival, Hippies, Woodstock, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, cursing, yeah sorry this is gonna get hectic bro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:14:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23049154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiddingway/pseuds/kiddingway
Summary: Three days of peace and music. The Aquarian Experience. The summer they were going to remember for the rest of their lives. It was history in the making.One minute they were dancing and singing and getting high at the biggest festival of the year—of the century. And then the next minute took a turn for the worst.Now Hyejoo has to turn her back on the peace and love agenda she and Yerim and hundreds of thousands of other people believed in. Having to do the unthinkable just to survive.
Relationships: Choi Yerim | Choerry/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Hyunjin
Kudos: 24





	sometimes i feel like i'm almost gone.

**Author's Note:**

> it's all groovy, dude. 
> 
> i wish to experience woodstock, man. 

Maybe it was the weed getting to her. Maybe it was the music playing live from the stage. Maybe it was the mass of tens of thousands of other people who came for the exact same reason. Maybe it was because she had surprised Yerim with her dream come true and she had never seen her girlfriend so happy to be alive. 

All Hyejoo knew was that she was having the time of her life among a hoard of other teenagers and young adults, feeling the anticipation of all the bands and artists that were going to be there. The prospect of staying at a festival for three nights in a row was something so otherworldly. So unlike anything she had ever experienced. 

With so much marijuana clouding her brain she felt like she was up on cloud nine. And the best part of it all? Yerim was right there with her.

"You're eyes are so red!" Yerim laughed, using one hand to point at her face while the other covered her mouth. And maybe the weed was _really_ getting to her because Hyejoo burst out laughing when she saw how red Yerim's eyes were. Or maybe it was the pink tint of her round glasses she had perched on her nose, but Hyejoo swore that they were red—it was impossible for them not to be with the amount of weed they'd been smoking.

"C'mere," Hyejoo mumbled, completely inaudible to just about everyone around. But she made her point known when she reached out with her hand to snake two fingers through the belt loops of Yerim's blue jeans, pulling her impossibly closer to her. And for just a second, she wanted to be secluded from their little world. She just wanted to focus on Yerim for as long as possible before she would delve back into the fest that reached out with its temptations, ready to pull her back into the fray.

Yerim was still giggling, but she brought a hand up to cup the back of Hyejoo's neck and Hyejoo simply couldn't help melting into her touch. Leaning her forehead down, Yerim met hers gently, resting against each other as the music blasted and the crowd roared louder. It didn't seem to matter that they were so far from the stage—they were up on the top of the hill compared to the crowded center below them, but there were countless of people around them as well sitting or standing or dancing or lying around, it was endless. It was so loud it drowned out the rapid thumps of her own heart that seemed to beat in the rhythm of the drums on stage. 

And this was just the beginning. 

It seemed impossible before; earning and finding enough money to buy them the tickets for the three-day festival. Doing nearly every little thing just to make sure that at least Yerim would be able to go—Hyejoo was completely ready to sacrifice all of her money just so that Yerim could go, even if that meant she had to stay home and wait for her return. And it nearly happened, but she had managed to find some sucker who unknowingly bought duds off her rather than actual tabs of acid—the guy was just looking for something to send him into a psychedelic state, but she wasn't about to give away _her_ small stash, not unless she reallyhad to. 

(The guy fell for it anyway. She wasn't about to feel bad for someone who easily fell for her scam. Don't get her wrong, she was all about the peace and love agenda like everyone else around her—maybe not nearly as passionate as Yerim, or even the next person—but if she had to break past a few morals to make Yerim happy, Hyejoo would be more than glad to step on a few toes to do so.)

It was all worth it to see the absolute joy on Yerim's face. Nothing could top it. She looked like a child on Christmas morning and it made Hyejoo yearn for more of those reactions. And she knew— _Hyejoo knew_ —that going to this festival would create more than what she could ever wish for.

Because they were both going. They were going to Woodstock. 

Three days of peace and music; an "Aquarian Exposition" as they so dubbed it. And they were going to be there. 

They spent days hitchhiking and walking. For hours on end, they'd walk from point A to point B, asking countless people to help give them a lift for a short distance and paying them as much as they could without running dry. Limiting themselves to how much they could buy to eat and drink just to make sure they had enough money for the returning trip—most of the time though, when they were getting through the town of Woodstock, they were met with the extremely amicable locals who would invite them and plenty of other travelers into their home for a homecooked meal. It was something they'd never seen before. The activeness of the community was so surprising neither Yerim or Hyejoo could believe that these folks were so welcoming in letting in a bunch of hippies into their home and feeding them until their bellies were full. 

And, god, was it a sight to see hundreds—maybe even _thousands_ —of cars parked on both sides of the road, on highways, in clusters around open fields, even places you never thought you'd be able to park a car. It was so surreal. But there was something about walking alongside the many, _many_ cars that made it seem all the more closer to reality. It was the realization that they were just one step closer to the festival of their dreams—history right in the making; Hyejoo had no doubt about that.

And there they were. 

A dream unlike any other coming true. 

"I never wanna leave," Hyejoo said, her eyes closed as she relished Yerim's closeness to her. 

"What?" But Yerim hadn't heard her, the crowd still loud and boisterous around them—not that it would ever seem to dim down. 

Rather than responding, Hyejoo surged forward to connect their lips together in a searing kiss, her nose bumped Yerim's glasses slightly but the dopamine shot straight to her brain and it was like she injected every type of drug known to man. Every single nerve on fire, all of her senses heightened, her skin buzzing, and her head feeling light and airy. She felt like she just took seven shots of adrenaline with the way her heart jumpstarted. 

But the effect of the weed kicked in strongly, making Yerim giggle again and it was difficult trying to kiss someone who's grinning too widely. So Hyejoo resorted to peppering kisses anywhere she could; her nose, her cheeks, her jaw, her neck, even around her clavicle just to feel the peak of the high and exploit the endless amount of elatedness she felt. 

Nothing could top that feeling. 

They'd only been there for a couple of hours, already fully immersed in the ambiance of everything around them. It was hard not to jump into the fray; temptation was around every corner and it was only a matter of time before they'd be completely gone. 

But Hyejoo needed a quick break because a sudden rush to her head made her feel dizzy and lighter than a feather. "Hold on, hold on." She pulled away from Yerim for a moment, before promptly sitting back onto their blanket to collect herself for a minute. 

However, Yerim quickly followed, settling between Hyejoo's legs with her back pressed up against her chest as Hyejoo instinctively wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's shoulders. Resting her cheek against Yerim's head as she lazily roamed her eyes all around; taking brief glances at the people who had traveled to the same destination to find the same exact form of pleasure you couldn't possibly find anywhere else. The singer on stage—one she didn't recognize—had moved to a slower song, one she actually recognized. It was a rendition of The Beatles "Strawberry Hills Forever". His voice, while completely differing from the original song, was deeper, resonating through the speakers as he tweaked the song with his guitar and the boys behind playing back-up. She never thought a cover of a song she adored could sound so good. 

Her arms tightened around Yerim, feeling as though she were truly dreaming, unable to fully convince herself that it was all real. It felt as if she would wake from some drug-induced coma in the hospital, her family towering over her as she tried to blink away the bleariness in her eyes from being blinded from the fluorescent lights, only to be scolded by her mother and father for doing something so reckless, so immoral, _so sinful._ It wouldn't have been too far fetched, after all. 

"This is real, right?" she mumbled right next to Yerim's ear, making sure she heard her this time. 

And Yerim heard her loud and clear, even with all the commotion around her, she heard Hyejoo. Turning around just enough to face her, she beamed the biggest, brightest grin Hyejoo had ever seen Yerim produce to date. And it all seemed so fitting. Yerim was decked out in attire that, in the eyes of the older generation, would be seen as unruly and outlandish. But to Hyejoo—the purple tie-dyed shirt she had tied and cropped above her stomach, the pink and purple floral crown she had perched on her head, the individual flowers she plucked and positioned into her hair to fit all the pieces together—Yerim looked the part and it was absolutely perfect. 

"We're in Woodstock, baby." Hyejoo grinned hearing that from her. It just made it all the more real. "It's all real," Yerim confirmed, a hand covered in leather bands and color, beaded bracelets came up to cup Hyejoo's jaw, her thumb tracing up toward her ear and back down to her chin. " _We're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy_."

The cheesy line from the ever-famous movie was enough to snap Hyejoo out of her reverie, swatting Yerim's hand away even as they were both laughing at each other. 

"How's it hangin', love birds?" They both turned toward the voice, Hyejoo instantly recognizing the two that had taken them on the last strip of land until they were forced to be among the thousands of parked cars along the roads. Jinsoul and Hyunjin maneuvered around multiple bodies, Jinsoul sporting a grin while Hyunjin's expression was passive, entirely focused on a singular leaf she held in one of her hands—the other was holding onto Jinsoul's hand. 

Yerim seemed to catch on as well, leaning against Hyejoo as the other two sat themselves down on their blanket—Hyunjin moving at a much slower pace without her focus breaking from the seemingly ordinary leaf. "Is she trippin' already?" Yerim asked, lifting her shades up as if removing the pink tint would reveal the truth about Hyunjin's state. 

Jinsoul just turned to look at Hyunjin, slightly shaking their conjoined hands as if to redirect Hyunjin's attention, but to no avail. Turning back toward Hyejoo and Yerim, she nodded and adjusted her own glasses—similar to Yerim's but shaded a dark blue that resembled the ocean and made it harder to see her eyes through the lenses. "Yeah, it hit her hard." Hyunjin gasped beside her but said nothing afterward and continued staring down at the leaf, occasionally turning it over. "At least it isn't a bad trip again," Jinsoul commented, letting go of Hyunjin's hand to cup her cheek. 

Hyunjin didn't even acknowledge the affectionate touch, barely even blinking at the contact. 

But in her daze, it made Hyejoo huff, remembering the first time she had a bad trip after taking LSD. "Remember, Yerim?" she asked, prodding her girlfriend slightly on her side, making Yerim flinch from how sensitive she was to fleeting and ticklish touches around her midriff. "Remember my first bad trip?" 

She laughed despite Yerim smacking her on the arm, the hit too soft to hurt or leave any red marks on her skin. "Don't joke about that! It was real scary! You were freaking out so much I-I didn't know what to do!" 

Still, though, Hyejoo laughed as she remembered how frantic Yerim had gotten when she had begun spiraling after taking some acid. The experience was _awful_ , there was too much going on around her and then _everything_ just started melting around her. It didn't exactly help that they had been alone in a field quite a walk away from their small town, so any source of help was completely out the window. And with Yerim having absolutely no idea what had been happening to Hyejoo, they were both thrown into a panic—Hyejoo more than Yerim, probably, because all Hyejoo could see was Yerim's disfigured skin and flesh melting off her bones, sending her into a terrified frenzy when she thought she was losing her girlfriend. It traumatized Hyejoo enough to the point she swore off any acid for some months before the temptation was too prevalent to ignore. 

"Now that sounds like a story," Jinsoul jumped in, leaving Hyunjin to her own devices—or, in that case, _device_ —as she turned toward them anticipatedly. 

But Hyejoo waved her hand dismissively, not exactly too keen on wanting to recount the details despite being the one to bring up the memories in the first place. "Same as any other bad trip; buggin' out 'n shit."

"It breathed!" Hyunjin, for the first time since they arrived, spoke with such enthusiasm and excitement she rivaled a child being told that they could get anything from the candy store. "See? See? Look!" She yanked the leaf up for everyone to see, but it only flopped over from where she held it by its frail stem. 

But as they watched, the only indication of it moving was the slight breeze that made it flutter before falling limp again.

"Oh, baby..." Jinsoul gently pushed down Hyunjin's hand, taking the leaf away from her gently—the latter's expression immediately dropping when it was removed from her, but her gaze was still entirely focused on the leaf still in Jinsoul's hand. "You're really goin' through it, huh?"

Hyejoo, trying with all her might, had to stifle her laughs against Yerim's shoulder who, in return, tried shushing her despite the amusement evident in her grin. But Hyejoo shook her head, having to turn away from Hyunjin to avoid bursting out laughing.

"It was breathing, Soul," Hyunjin sounded so dejected, so broken. It was like she just lost something so dear to her. It was getting harder for Hyejoo to control herself. "And you _killed_ it." Hyejoo snorted, Yerim shushed her and smacked her arm. 

"She's seriously jelly-brained to the max, Yerim," Hyejoo snickered to her, making sure neither Jinsoul or Hyunjin didn't hear, but considering their rapt attention on each other, Hyejoo felt like she didn't have to worry much. 

However, Yerim smacked her again, turning toward her to give her a pointed look that Hyejoo just couldn't take seriously what with her big, pink glasses and the flowers in her hair. It was like being threatened by a tiny puppy. "Sit on it, Hyejoo," Yerim told her, quite effectively shutting her up as Hyejoo cleared her throat and attempted to contain herself.

"Hyun, leaves don't breathe— well, they 'breathe', but not in the way you think they do," Jinsoul quickly backtracked, but then Hyunjin gasped so loudly that Hyejoo didn't even have to look to see how distraught Hyunjin was after the trifling revelation. "They don't have lungs like we do." 

"But it was breathing."

When they had first met the pair, Hyunjin was as stoic as the sun shines. She barely said anything to Hyejoo or Yerim when they first clambered into their decorative and vibrant microbus—suitably named _The Wave_ what with an actual blue wave painted on both sides of the microbus along with some trippy patterns and designs to add some flair onto it. And it was Jinsoul who dominated most of the conversations and even went so far as to suggest sticking together during the festival. Hyunjin had simply and quietly sat behind the wheel with little participation toward any of the conversations. So seeing her talk this much was as baffling as seeing pigs fly—and maybe Hyunjin would start seeing those too. 

Before Jinsoul could refute, three military-style helicopters flew overhead, mixing in with the music that was beginning to come to a close for the next son. But the helicopters garnered all of their attention, all four heads turning up to watch them slice through the air in a v-formation before disappearing behind the stage. 

"What's that all about?" Hyejoo asked, her eyes squinting even with the helicopters out of sight. Seeing them put her on edge. She even saw other people around her looking unsettled from the intrusion. 

"I heard that's how they're bringin' some of the bands in," Jinsoul explained, leaning back on her hands as her dark hair whipped behind her with a particularly strong gust of wind, the dark blue flower crown on her head not even moving an inch—like something out of a movie. "That's why Richie Havens opened up first." She nodded her head toward the stage, directing their attention toward the singular man—with some back-up, of course, but a solo artist through and through—alone against the crowd. 

"Oh, that's Richie Havens?" Yerim piped up, leaning forward as moving a couple of inches would grant her a better view of him. "He's good!" 

And even Hyejoo couldn't deny that. The man had been playing for some hours by then, but he'd already had the crowd hooked with his opening song. And while it was unusual that he was the one to open the festival rather than Sweetwater, it ended up being better than Hyejoo expected. 

But she couldn't shake off the thought of the helicopters they saw. Surely they didn't need _three_ of them to bring in a couple of bands, right? 

"What was up with three 'copters, though?" In front of her Yerim shrugged, too engulfed on the performance to pay any mind to what Hyejoo asked. So she turned to Jinsoul who seemed to have at least a little bit more knowledge of the setting they were in. 

Except, she shrugged as well before she responded, "Dunno. Might not be for the festival at all."

Hyejoo knew quite well what she was referring to, a bitter taste on the back of her tongue as she thought about the war raging on Vietnam's soil. "Fuck the establishment," she spat out.

"Right on, man." To her surprise, it had been Hyunjin who had spoken up. When she turned to the girl in question, Hyejoo was even more surprised to see Hyunjin lying on her back, staring at the sky with glazed over eyes but doing nothing to shield them from the bright sun—it was the evening, but with the summer cycle or the Earth's tilted axis (Hyejoo didn't really know the how it all worked), the sun was still out and shining.

Having heard stories of people tripped up on acid who simply stared at the sun all day, Hyejoo brought a hand up to nudge Jinsoul's shoulder, effectively gaining her attention before she pointed toward Hyunjin. "Don't let her burn her retinas or somethin'."

Rather than moving Hyunjin or adjusting her so that she wouldn't ruin her eyesight, Jinsoul simply took her sunglasses off and placed them right over Hyunjin's eyes. "Don't stare at the sun, babe," Jinsoul instructed, before turning back toward the stage. 

However, when the glasses were transferred to her, Hyunjin gasped loudly and shot straight back up into a sitting position. "I'm in the ocean!" Her arms waved around in front of her as if she were trying to grab at something moving around her. 

And this time, Hyejoo didn't bother stifling her laughter. She simply shook her head as she turned toward the stage, content with letting Hyunjin ride out her trip while she rode out her high. 

With a fast strum of a guitar beginning to play through the speakers, Hyejoo allowed herself to be lured back into the atmosphere of the festival. The guitar was followed by a quick and complicated beat by bongos—or something of the sort, Hyejoo didn't really know—but there was something about this song that was unlike the others Richie Havens had played for them thus far. 

It was unrecognizable. She'd never heard the tune or the beat or anything about it at all. 

And then he began. It was low, the stage and speakers once again resonating with his smooth voice as he repeated one word eight times in perfect rhythm with the song. 

_Freedom_.

Then everyone in the audience began clapping, her own two hands coming together to join the ever-growing sound of a united community cheering and getting more and more excited as the song continued. 

Hyejoo and all of them stood up—even Hyunjin had joined in—everyone all around the festival completely captivated by Richie Havens at center stage. Even from so far away, Hyejoo could see just how immersed he was in the feeling, his hands never faltering from around the guitar, his voice never cracking or wavering even from the excessive use with song after song trying to please an enormous crowd. 

Despite never ever having heard of the song, it filled Hyejoo with a feeling so inexplicable even to her. It was impossible trying to even come up with an explanation in her mind. It felt as if she were brainwashed by the sounds all around her. 

But one thing was consistent in her mind. And that was the word freedom. 

Because that was what everyone strived for, but could never really achieve it.

No one was truly free. Even the birds were chained to the sky. 

Except in that moment— _in that exact moment_ —Hyejoo felt as though she truly had a taste of freedom. She hoped the feeling would last forever, but even if it dropped by the time the festival ended, or even by the time the song ended, at least she'd been able to have experienced it. And that was good enough for her. 

* * *

right on, dude. 

if perhaps you didn't know, this is set in 1969 where the famous music festival named Woodstock began, aka, my new current obsession

and don't worry, you're not reading the tags wrong :]

[twitter](https://twitter.com/Kiiddway)  
[cc](https://t.co/gV4f0zUAPg?amp=1)


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